Alright, I’m on a new trip.
May I apologies for the neglect of my blog. Its not that I have nothing to say. I do. I just have so many other venues, I forget this one. No that’s a lie. I don’t forget. I just don’t think anyone reads this one so why would I use it? With, other blogs, myspace and now.. .yes I've sold out to facebook too. it makes it hard.
Arighty now, I'm back.
now, for the Changes I was talking about in the past. This is a new me.
I’ve become an anti-semite. ,why not? Jews are really shitty these days. Even the ones we're hypothetically supposed to look up to are liars and cheats. . might I reminde you of the latest Monsey scandal... (I'm sure there is one)
When I know I have more time, I’ll get on my soap box ranting and raving. I don’t have the time now because, well, I don’t have my own computer. I’m also sick and want to go throw up a little. Eh… yuck I know.
The bottom line is we’re so full of shit. We cant even get along with each other, Ashkinazim and sfardim cant get along. Then you have the snag chossid war. Don’t even start telling me that only the chabadnicks are still fighting that one because one of the most exciting thing misnagdim is to sit around picking fun and impersonating chossidim. Your sick. All of you. Even myself for all the snag jokes. I will often walk around acalling myself a "selfish snag".
Whatever dude. I'll finish this later. Maybe.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I'm off to see the wizard
Okay I'm off. That's it, there no convincing me to stay, my love affair with New York Shitty is over.
the format will shortly be changing. Thou the page ill stay the same. I remember a time where I would blog and get comments. Now we just sort of check in with it. I cant see the key board cause its dark in here.
My goodbye party was a success. I feel so lucky to know such good people. There we're so many of them here tonight.
I wish I could see it, Cause I have do much I want to write,
I;m going to Israel in the morning. Craziness. Really and truly. I love it as a hippie I cant commit to anything. But when I make a plan I keep somewhat to the structure. I had a plan. 2 yrs in NY and 2 years in Cali. So I missed out on living in Cali. I'll make up for it at some point. I did however make it to 23 States, and 3 Countries this past year. I love it!!!
Alright cant handle the dard anymore.
I'll see you soon in the holy land. Have an awesome Simchas Torah. Have me in mind during at least 2 hakffos.
Kiss* kiss*
the format will shortly be changing. Thou the page ill stay the same. I remember a time where I would blog and get comments. Now we just sort of check in with it. I cant see the key board cause its dark in here.
My goodbye party was a success. I feel so lucky to know such good people. There we're so many of them here tonight.
I wish I could see it, Cause I have do much I want to write,
I;m going to Israel in the morning. Craziness. Really and truly. I love it as a hippie I cant commit to anything. But when I make a plan I keep somewhat to the structure. I had a plan. 2 yrs in NY and 2 years in Cali. So I missed out on living in Cali. I'll make up for it at some point. I did however make it to 23 States, and 3 Countries this past year. I love it!!!
Alright cant handle the dard anymore.
I'll see you soon in the holy land. Have an awesome Simchas Torah. Have me in mind during at least 2 hakffos.
Kiss* kiss*
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
So many issues; not enough Prozac.
yosef... I assume your reading this :)
Enough is enough:
I'm so irritated by all of you half hazard, socially retarded, apathetic, slothful, irritating, lazy, Chossids who seem to have nothing better to do than bitch and moan all day about everything and anything you can.
Whatever dude' your all nothing but the Mamzorim of snags. Your mother is a snag, your father is a snag and that makes you nothing but a lethargic Mamzor, you natzi-snag. Your all a bunch of Snags Posing as Chossids.
I'll give you all a few shinny keys, a 2nd cell phone and a cherry for your dash board. Maybe that'll give you a hard on.
But seriously guys: Talk about a real issue. Anti-Semitisms making a stronger come back than the 80's. How about talking about the Chossids who were robbed and beaten the other night or even the meddlesome neighbor who's Loshon Hurua did something good. With her talent of minding everyone else's business she helped find one of the guys. Make her your idol. Not Finkel the divorced butcher.Use the evil to bring down some positive energy.
I'm going to float politically:
Be a contribution to society or just a registered voter. You can register to vote as an alternative to sitting around talking about how Bush agenda destroyed the economy and social security. Oy this world would have seriously been an exceptionally better place if Kerry had won. But don't worry; Hillary Clinton's chance for Presidency is bizarrely looking possible. She can come undo all the horrific things Bush did to you. Forget that. The Olsen twins have my vote. We can all live in splendid world where people ritually hug when entering or leaving a room. All your problems can be solved in a half hour….
Considering I'm a registered voter. My vote counts so take your opinion to the polls. Unless your registered to vote. But I get it, you're a Yid and that makes you too effing good for American society. We're better than the goyim I know all about it. Your just here to live off the government; with your section 8, food stamps. Acting like the goyim you talk so poorly of. Sitting around on your over sized lazy arse waiting for Moshiach to come. You keep sitting there waiting. Let me know how that works out for you. Freakin democrats, you all have an opinion but don't seem to register. Ther are more of you at every rally in NYC than are registered “democratic voters” in NYC.
Start talking about some real issues.
Better yet get up and do something about it.
Enough is enough:
I'm so irritated by all of you half hazard, socially retarded, apathetic, slothful, irritating, lazy, Chossids who seem to have nothing better to do than bitch and moan all day about everything and anything you can.
"My Yichus is better than your Gesher".
"My Bais Din can kick your Bais Din's arse.."
"he's an Apicores."
"I'm a Bal T'chuva. "
I'm a Choser B'Tchuvah."
Let's have a party in the Rishus Den!
Whatever dude' your all nothing but the Mamzorim of snags. Your mother is a snag, your father is a snag and that makes you nothing but a lethargic Mamzor, you natzi-snag. Your all a bunch of Snags Posing as Chossids.
I'll give you all a few shinny keys, a 2nd cell phone and a cherry for your dash board. Maybe that'll give you a hard on.
But seriously guys: Talk about a real issue. Anti-Semitisms making a stronger come back than the 80's. How about talking about the Chossids who were robbed and beaten the other night or even the meddlesome neighbor who's Loshon Hurua did something good. With her talent of minding everyone else's business she helped find one of the guys. Make her your idol. Not Finkel the divorced butcher.Use the evil to bring down some positive energy.
I'm going to float politically:
Be a contribution to society or just a registered voter. You can register to vote as an alternative to sitting around talking about how Bush agenda destroyed the economy and social security. Oy this world would have seriously been an exceptionally better place if Kerry had won. But don't worry; Hillary Clinton's chance for Presidency is bizarrely looking possible. She can come undo all the horrific things Bush did to you. Forget that. The Olsen twins have my vote. We can all live in splendid world where people ritually hug when entering or leaving a room. All your problems can be solved in a half hour….
Considering I'm a registered voter. My vote counts so take your opinion to the polls. Unless your registered to vote. But I get it, you're a Yid and that makes you too effing good for American society. We're better than the goyim I know all about it. Your just here to live off the government; with your section 8, food stamps. Acting like the goyim you talk so poorly of. Sitting around on your over sized lazy arse waiting for Moshiach to come. You keep sitting there waiting. Let me know how that works out for you. Freakin democrats, you all have an opinion but don't seem to register. Ther are more of you at every rally in NYC than are registered “democratic voters” in NYC.
Start talking about some real issues.
Better yet get up and do something about it.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Israel anyone?
yea so this is my ode to blogger. I forget its here sometimes. I'm involved in so many projects I forget about the place it all started. so here I am. To tell those of you who still have an rss feed to this page; that I am going to Israel. well... I want to. I need to get a ticket and by that I mean I need money. I was looking for a job. but who hires for 2 weeks? I dont know what to do. I have to figure it all out. I'm sure I will. take the absence as not a good thing, thats all I have for now. if you or anyone you know, knows someone who forgot to give myser this year... or just wants to help a yid. I'm here and excepting donations :)
much love, Dindel
much love, Dindel
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
After the rainbow..
Sorry I’ve been total MIA. I got on the rainbow train expecting to return to Brooklyn July 15th, but the universe had a different plan for me and now I’m in L.A. we shall see where the universe takes me next. All I know for sure is I should be in Colorado on the 15th of Aug. and upstate NY on the 20th A”H
Much love and blessings.
Dindel
Much love and blessings.
Dindel
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Baruch Dayan HaEmes- Benzion Berel Keller
Baruch Dayan HaEmes
With profound sadness and pain we inform you of the sudden, untimely passing of the bochur Benzion Berel Keller, son of, Yibadlu Lechaim Tovim, Rabbi Moshe and Rochel Keller of Crown Heights, on Shabbos. Benzion was 17 years old.
From: CrownHeights.info
He was all about the music. So here are some lyrics that will always make me think of Benny.
Warrior
by Matisyahu
Song details
Name Warrior
Artist Matisyahu
Album Shake off the Dust... Arise (2004),
Song lyrics
You're the son of his majesty
Remember how it used to be
In the light of day it's easy to see
Now it's nighttime
You had to leave
*You got Separated from the king
Now the water's rushing and you keep trying to swim against the streams*
* it seems, like your not moving the many water's gushing you gasp for air
Almost drowning ears ringing, once upon a time we were singing
One day *those trees will stand and clap hands
Stream of thought getting caught in the klipa, this place is just a shell, external
Egos swell, that one'll burn ya, we fell a long way down, that eternal frown'll get you
You look vexed it's the dregs, the yetzer hara's lurking
Trying to make *us forget we got a job to do
your a priest and a prince and you can't be moved,
*a priest and a prince and you can't be
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
Re-united, re-united return the princess to the king,
Re-united, re-united, she's been taken for so long
Re-unite them, re-unite *them and then she'll be filled with joy
Re-unite them , re-unite *them like the days of her youth
Descended to the pit
What's this feeling can't get rid of it
Soul sick
Can't seem to shake it
When one retires at night weeping, joy will come in the morning
You made my mountain stand strong
Chorus
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
Like and ancient memory
Remember how it used to be
Close your eyes and breath in
* the scent of freedom
Ringing across the sea
Land of milk and honey
One day will wake up from this dream and we'll stop sleeping
Oh, yo, then we'll see clearly
Chorus
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
you just crossed two works in the last verse ,,
jah bless,
With profound sadness and pain we inform you of the sudden, untimely passing of the bochur Benzion Berel Keller, son of, Yibadlu Lechaim Tovim, Rabbi Moshe and Rochel Keller of Crown Heights, on Shabbos. Benzion was 17 years old.
From: CrownHeights.info
He was all about the music. So here are some lyrics that will always make me think of Benny.
Warrior
by Matisyahu
Song details
Name Warrior
Artist Matisyahu
Album Shake off the Dust... Arise (2004),
Song lyrics
You're the son of his majesty
Remember how it used to be
In the light of day it's easy to see
Now it's nighttime
You had to leave
*You got Separated from the king
Now the water's rushing and you keep trying to swim against the streams*
* it seems, like your not moving the many water's gushing you gasp for air
Almost drowning ears ringing, once upon a time we were singing
One day *those trees will stand and clap hands
Stream of thought getting caught in the klipa, this place is just a shell, external
Egos swell, that one'll burn ya, we fell a long way down, that eternal frown'll get you
You look vexed it's the dregs, the yetzer hara's lurking
Trying to make *us forget we got a job to do
your a priest and a prince and you can't be moved,
*a priest and a prince and you can't be
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
Re-united, re-united return the princess to the king,
Re-united, re-united, she's been taken for so long
Re-unite them, re-unite *them and then she'll be filled with joy
Re-unite them , re-unite *them like the days of her youth
Descended to the pit
What's this feeling can't get rid of it
Soul sick
Can't seem to shake it
When one retires at night weeping, joy will come in the morning
You made my mountain stand strong
Chorus
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
Like and ancient memory
Remember how it used to be
Close your eyes and breath in
* the scent of freedom
Ringing across the sea
Land of milk and honey
One day will wake up from this dream and we'll stop sleeping
Oh, yo, then we'll see clearly
Chorus
Chorus: You're a warrior, Fighting for your soul
Taken from a world above, and brought down to *this world below
you just crossed two works in the last verse ,,
jah bless,
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
They like me... they really like me.
Signed sealed delivered, I’m yours.
Tarts it the papers have been signed. I’m going away. And when I get back I’ll A”H have my job!!!
Tarts it the papers have been signed. I’m going away. And when I get back I’ll A”H have my job!!!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Free will -my ass.
How many times a day do you tell yourself... you know this.. Why am I even thinking about the answer? What’s taking me so long to figure this out? D your smarter than that. Or how about the ever apparent did I really just do that?
As people we are make to believe we have total control of our lives. This friend is not true. it cant be. I know I personally don’t seem to think.
I don’t know who’s making my decisions for me. But I want to sit down and have a talk with them.
I'm become a bit too allusive.
Have a La'chaim to better choices.
___________________
Its funny being at work today; my boss and I know, inevitably we have to talk about weather or not I'm staying next week and were just pretending it’s a non issue. Go figure.
Shabbat shalom!
As people we are make to believe we have total control of our lives. This friend is not true. it cant be. I know I personally don’t seem to think.
I don’t know who’s making my decisions for me. But I want to sit down and have a talk with them.
I'm become a bit too allusive.
Have a La'chaim to better choices.
___________________
Its funny being at work today; my boss and I know, inevitably we have to talk about weather or not I'm staying next week and were just pretending it’s a non issue. Go figure.
Shabbat shalom!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Whos up for a mission?
I’m running away this summer. And not happy about it. Its all I wanted for a few months now. But I got a job I like. And I know I’m going to regret leaving it. My boss is a kind hearted man. He doesn’t deserve this at all. Whatever not a pity trip right,. I can do what I want when I want it.
Damnit I'm happy.
Damnit I'm happy.
Well Said!
I get these daily, but this one was talking to me about mypersonal self and mind frame.
hope you enjoy it as much as i did.
B"H
Fortitude
---------
Maybe you feel you just can't hack it. You know there is nothing to fear, but you are afraid. You know there are no obstacles that cannot be overcome, but those, you claim, are words for the lionhearted. Your heart is somewhat less of iron and more of flesh. You know fear first hand, and it is ugly.
It's true, there are people who do not run from anything in this world. Even as they enter this world, they remain above and beyond. Their feet barely touch the ground.
They are the tzaddikim, who never enter the monster's lair. And therefore, they never truly defeat him. But you, with their strength, you will face that awesome fear inside you and you will wrestle it to the dust. For yourself and for all those after you.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Iyar 20, 5766 * May 18, 2006
hope you enjoy it as much as i did.
B"H
Fortitude
---------
Maybe you feel you just can't hack it. You know there is nothing to fear, but you are afraid. You know there are no obstacles that cannot be overcome, but those, you claim, are words for the lionhearted. Your heart is somewhat less of iron and more of flesh. You know fear first hand, and it is ugly.
It's true, there are people who do not run from anything in this world. Even as they enter this world, they remain above and beyond. Their feet barely touch the ground.
They are the tzaddikim, who never enter the monster's lair. And therefore, they never truly defeat him. But you, with their strength, you will face that awesome fear inside you and you will wrestle it to the dust. For yourself and for all those after you.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Iyar 20, 5766 * May 18, 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006
Should I stay or Should I go....
Dilemma,
I found a job.
I like the job.
Jobs are always available...
I want to go to rainbow.
do I quit?
I found a job.
I like the job.
Jobs are always available...
I want to go to rainbow.
do I quit?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Car 54 Where are you?
Another abandon blog.
It doesn't mean to happen. It's just one of those things.
Please note. I have not abandon the blog. just been a little hectic in my own head. that's a way for me to say that nothings really going on and I haven't had any thoughts lately. that's. all.
I'll be back.
--
Much Love
It doesn't mean to happen. It's just one of those things.
Please note. I have not abandon the blog. just been a little hectic in my own head. that's a way for me to say that nothings really going on and I haven't had any thoughts lately. that's. all.
I'll be back.
--
Much Love
Monday, May 01, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
The Lost Post.
Okay this is something I typed up a while ago. I was planing on doing some editin and just forgot about it. I havnt been working so I havnt had a computer. that helps when it comes to getting lost. The funny part is... since I wrote it. I havnt done "my drung of choice". So heres my lost post. I never got to re-edit it. so its pretty raw. (I should read it before posting it. but I wont.)
Enjoy.
Part time drug addict.
I want to start with a blatant statement.
I'm a liar!
So this is honesty at its best.
Well the best I can provide, from my own personally experience.
Every now and again I think I'm a drug addict.
A few years ago I'm pretty sure I was a drug addict. But I got older and too busy… other expenses were more important. And there's always the ever annoying self trip I put on myself, saying "do it... Stop" just to prove I can. So I started leaving my house. Became more functional, stopped …somewhat. Told people I was finally clean.. (not in a sence that any of them cared. They told me I was selling out…) But truth be known, I do it on occasion. Always did. Never really stopped. Just stopped how much I was doing it, how often and who I was doing it with. Still the whole time I was saying I was clean I was lying about it. I don't even know why. I never went to rehab or anything… so I don't know why I lie about it all the time. Even now. It's been over almost 3 years now. Maybe more. I can't give an exact date because I have no concept of time. No one I talked to about it was ever judging me. I was judging them. I still do. The people who I first did it with are clean. Well one is. I have no idea where the other is.
I'm a little confused because I don't really see what's wrong with it. If I 'm living a functioning a normal life, and I'm not harming anyone else. I'm not selling my body, pawning my belongings; I've never stolen for it, I've never spent someone else's money on it. In fact I'm paying all my bills, saving money. Even paying back old debts to credit collectors.. (Poor, Old Navy and Gap.) and I'm 98% sure to the best of my knowledge I have never hurt anyone over it. So why bother stopping? I would so much rather quit smoking then stop with this substance. That nonsense is going to destroy me so much faster.
This is… This is the lie that I live.
There's no excuse for it. There's no way to justify it. I just can't decide if I can be regard as as an addict.
It's a part of my life. But a functional life at that. Compared to how much I used to do… If I had to compare it to smoking, right? So say I smoked a carton a week now that would be 200 cigarettes. (never did that, promise!) But say I did, than it would be like I smoke one cigarette a day now. If that…
Okay, I let out my dirty laundry. It's floating away in the wind, or zapping its way thru the blogosphere. However you want to say it. But really my question for myself; how scary is it that I like myself and the people and me better when I'm high. I'm less of a bitch. Every now and again some one will tell me "I'm so happy you stopped, your less edgy these days." The funny part. They know little about me. The edgy days were the sober days. Obviously these aren't people I'm close to.
So why am I trying to justify it to myself?
Enjoy.
Part time drug addict.
I want to start with a blatant statement.
I'm a liar!
So this is honesty at its best.
Well the best I can provide, from my own personally experience.
Every now and again I think I'm a drug addict.
A few years ago I'm pretty sure I was a drug addict. But I got older and too busy… other expenses were more important. And there's always the ever annoying self trip I put on myself, saying "do it... Stop" just to prove I can. So I started leaving my house. Became more functional, stopped …somewhat. Told people I was finally clean.. (not in a sence that any of them cared. They told me I was selling out…) But truth be known, I do it on occasion. Always did. Never really stopped. Just stopped how much I was doing it, how often and who I was doing it with. Still the whole time I was saying I was clean I was lying about it. I don't even know why. I never went to rehab or anything… so I don't know why I lie about it all the time. Even now. It's been over almost 3 years now. Maybe more. I can't give an exact date because I have no concept of time. No one I talked to about it was ever judging me. I was judging them. I still do. The people who I first did it with are clean. Well one is. I have no idea where the other is.
I'm a little confused because I don't really see what's wrong with it. If I 'm living a functioning a normal life, and I'm not harming anyone else. I'm not selling my body, pawning my belongings; I've never stolen for it, I've never spent someone else's money on it. In fact I'm paying all my bills, saving money. Even paying back old debts to credit collectors.. (Poor, Old Navy and Gap.) and I'm 98% sure to the best of my knowledge I have never hurt anyone over it. So why bother stopping? I would so much rather quit smoking then stop with this substance. That nonsense is going to destroy me so much faster.
This is… This is the lie that I live.
There's no excuse for it. There's no way to justify it. I just can't decide if I can be regard as as an addict.
It's a part of my life. But a functional life at that. Compared to how much I used to do… If I had to compare it to smoking, right? So say I smoked a carton a week now that would be 200 cigarettes. (never did that, promise!) But say I did, than it would be like I smoke one cigarette a day now. If that…
Okay, I let out my dirty laundry. It's floating away in the wind, or zapping its way thru the blogosphere. However you want to say it. But really my question for myself; how scary is it that I like myself and the people and me better when I'm high. I'm less of a bitch. Every now and again some one will tell me "I'm so happy you stopped, your less edgy these days." The funny part. They know little about me. The edgy days were the sober days. Obviously these aren't people I'm close to.
So why am I trying to justify it to myself?
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Reflections.
birthday and time...
not worth reading. This was just me getting some thoughts out.
I feel like it’s been my birthday for a month. Technically speaking, somehow it has been. This year my Hebrew and secular birthdays were just about a month apart. Then I spent a week of February in Italy for the secular one and celebrating my Hebrew one last night finally.
It's nice when you can spread them both out. Nothing I'll ever complain about. Okay, maybe when I'm over excessively dealing with my 30th. , Then I'm sure I'll be sick of it.
……..crying in a corner somewhere… that’s a scary thought. :)
But anyhow…. I was thinking a lot. That's what birthdays are for, right? Because your not entirely a whole year older. Its juts another day… just another day. Why do we obsess once a year about our age? Honestly, as a Jewish girl, now 25 and still single… I think about once a month I trip out about my age. That empty feeling where you know your not getting married anytime soon. The people you know are fun (and currently a healthy influence) but no one I see myself with in the future. So I just don’t date. We all know that’s the answer. But what are my options? No ones setting me up on a shidduch. Once you’ve been black-listed they sort of forget you even exist. Let alone wonder if you’re single. I think most of the people in my community have no idea what happened to me. Probably leaving them to believe I got knocked up years ago and probably living underground. Not that they would come looking… -yes this is me still deep down seeking their approval.*
The truth is, now refocusing on the topic. I know I’m not getting married anytime soon. I may be capable of being spontaneous but to what degree. I’m a flake who’s afraid of the idea of commitment. I was just talking to my room mate about the fact that I moved in to my apartment because I wouldn’t have to sign a lease, it’s all month to month. This way if I ever wanted out I could leave. –this was 4 yrs ago. Where do I live…? The same freakin place. Cause I’m so comfortable, now I’m afraid of change…. And you thought you had issues?
So what have I accomplished this year?
I realize some where in the last few years, with my dire need to be accepted- I had sold out. I wasn’t stable at all last year. I was jumping from job to job monthly. Dating funny boys who had no future prospects… it was a funny year. But the whole time I managed to maintain financial stability. Impressive.
Then the Purim came along and I realized I’m going no where fast. I work to pay rent… date to have company when watching ‘desperate housewife’s”… and I stopped.
Cold turkey. Right. now if only I could quit smoking.
Sorry, focusing. So I stopped. I chilled by myself for a while. I had a few crazy room mates to fill my time, whet to the gym. Defiantly wasn’t bored with my time.
Now on to the summer. I went to the “Israeli day parade’ bumped in to some old friends… and with my schedule cleared, because I had again quit my job… I had all the time in the world to hang out.
and thus begin a whole new trip. Literally.
Considering I don’t think any of the 4 people who read this blog would have made it this far. (okay one of you did.) I’m gonna space it all out. This way I have something to write later.
To be continued….. I may sound a little funny. But I am happy. Just lonely.
My family is miles away. I haven’t seen my mother since last Pesach. Honestly the family that I have in NY isn’t even the most minuscule bit comforting. They don’t ask how I’m doing. The thought doesn’t even cross they’re mind.
Thank g-d for my friends. It’s good to know some truly good people. But that’s for the next post.
not worth reading. This was just me getting some thoughts out.
I feel like it’s been my birthday for a month. Technically speaking, somehow it has been. This year my Hebrew and secular birthdays were just about a month apart. Then I spent a week of February in Italy for the secular one and celebrating my Hebrew one last night finally.
It's nice when you can spread them both out. Nothing I'll ever complain about. Okay, maybe when I'm over excessively dealing with my 30th. , Then I'm sure I'll be sick of it.
……..crying in a corner somewhere… that’s a scary thought. :)
But anyhow…. I was thinking a lot. That's what birthdays are for, right? Because your not entirely a whole year older. Its juts another day… just another day. Why do we obsess once a year about our age? Honestly, as a Jewish girl, now 25 and still single… I think about once a month I trip out about my age. That empty feeling where you know your not getting married anytime soon. The people you know are fun (and currently a healthy influence) but no one I see myself with in the future. So I just don’t date. We all know that’s the answer. But what are my options? No ones setting me up on a shidduch. Once you’ve been black-listed they sort of forget you even exist. Let alone wonder if you’re single. I think most of the people in my community have no idea what happened to me. Probably leaving them to believe I got knocked up years ago and probably living underground. Not that they would come looking… -yes this is me still deep down seeking their approval.*
The truth is, now refocusing on the topic. I know I’m not getting married anytime soon. I may be capable of being spontaneous but to what degree. I’m a flake who’s afraid of the idea of commitment. I was just talking to my room mate about the fact that I moved in to my apartment because I wouldn’t have to sign a lease, it’s all month to month. This way if I ever wanted out I could leave. –this was 4 yrs ago. Where do I live…? The same freakin place. Cause I’m so comfortable, now I’m afraid of change…. And you thought you had issues?
So what have I accomplished this year?
I realize some where in the last few years, with my dire need to be accepted- I had sold out. I wasn’t stable at all last year. I was jumping from job to job monthly. Dating funny boys who had no future prospects… it was a funny year. But the whole time I managed to maintain financial stability. Impressive.
Then the Purim came along and I realized I’m going no where fast. I work to pay rent… date to have company when watching ‘desperate housewife’s”… and I stopped.
Cold turkey. Right. now if only I could quit smoking.
Sorry, focusing. So I stopped. I chilled by myself for a while. I had a few crazy room mates to fill my time, whet to the gym. Defiantly wasn’t bored with my time.
Now on to the summer. I went to the “Israeli day parade’ bumped in to some old friends… and with my schedule cleared, because I had again quit my job… I had all the time in the world to hang out.
and thus begin a whole new trip. Literally.
Considering I don’t think any of the 4 people who read this blog would have made it this far. (okay one of you did.) I’m gonna space it all out. This way I have something to write later.
To be continued….. I may sound a little funny. But I am happy. Just lonely.
My family is miles away. I haven’t seen my mother since last Pesach. Honestly the family that I have in NY isn’t even the most minuscule bit comforting. They don’t ask how I’m doing. The thought doesn’t even cross they’re mind.
Thank g-d for my friends. It’s good to know some truly good people. But that’s for the next post.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
My Trip to Italy.
Okay, so its been long enough that I'm no longer crying over my camera. So Now I can Finally talk about my trip. So for those of you who were pressuring me. This is for you, and for those of you who have just been pressuring me to write. Enjoy. This is what your getting.
…Adar
London… hotel, sightseeing on foot.
Rome… Wow. Vatican, Trains, Coliseum… Susie :)
Florence… Nice Balcony, mind if I sleep for a few hours? Pisa, Sure lets go!
You sure there’s no elevator?
Wow, talk about a view from the top.
Florence…. Sleep… Sick… waste of a day.
Venice, Seriously… I was in Venice? That’s just amazing. My birthday, in Venice does it get any better?
The Restaurant.. Gam Gam… No hotels? What? Shoot….
Now for a conversation with some kid who walked in to the chabad house while we’re tring to figure out what to do a few hours before shabbos… with no hotel.
“Yeah my name is Dee… Do you know me? “
Yea you don’t remember me? “Afraid not” You gave me a Henna tattoo at a party in Brooklyn once… “Oh, Cool.” “What are you doing out here?” I work for chabad. “So, you think you can help us out.”
10 minutes later…
Okay I found an apt you guys can use. How long you gonna be here?
“Till Monday” Okay no problem; just make sure you get the keys back to the Rabbi before you leave. “Wow.”
Thank you Chabad of Venice!!! Words can’t describe what you gave us!!
Moving right along, describing Venice in one word. Carnival…
Freakin awesome.
Back to London.. lets retake all the pictures we accidentally deleted… Yeay!
Back to the air port.
Back on another plane.
Sevral hours and a few vodka and orange juice’s later… Are we there yet?
Costoms… luggage…
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE MY CAMERA???? Back to the counter…
No camera here…. Direct quote from British Airways flight crew:
“The cleaning crew must have nicked it” –thanks. Shit heads.
Home sweet home.
…Adar
London… hotel, sightseeing on foot.
Rome… Wow. Vatican, Trains, Coliseum… Susie :)
Florence… Nice Balcony, mind if I sleep for a few hours? Pisa, Sure lets go!
You sure there’s no elevator?
Wow, talk about a view from the top.
Florence…. Sleep… Sick… waste of a day.
Venice, Seriously… I was in Venice? That’s just amazing. My birthday, in Venice does it get any better?
The Restaurant.. Gam Gam… No hotels? What? Shoot….
Now for a conversation with some kid who walked in to the chabad house while we’re tring to figure out what to do a few hours before shabbos… with no hotel.
“Yeah my name is Dee… Do you know me? “
Yea you don’t remember me? “Afraid not” You gave me a Henna tattoo at a party in Brooklyn once… “Oh, Cool.” “What are you doing out here?” I work for chabad. “So, you think you can help us out.”
10 minutes later…
Okay I found an apt you guys can use. How long you gonna be here?
“Till Monday” Okay no problem; just make sure you get the keys back to the Rabbi before you leave. “Wow.”
Thank you Chabad of Venice!!! Words can’t describe what you gave us!!
Moving right along, describing Venice in one word. Carnival…
Freakin awesome.
Back to London.. lets retake all the pictures we accidentally deleted… Yeay!
Back to the air port.
Back on another plane.
Sevral hours and a few vodka and orange juice’s later… Are we there yet?
Costoms… luggage…
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE MY CAMERA???? Back to the counter…
No camera here…. Direct quote from British Airways flight crew:
“The cleaning crew must have nicked it” –thanks. Shit heads.
Home sweet home.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
My lost Camera.
Okay I did it.
I went to Italy, but at what cost?
Plane ticket: $408.00 round trip to London, with hotel.
Ryan air flights: total $120.00
Hotels cause my friend decided she can’t stay in a hostel. $100.00
Train Tickets 100 bucks.
My friend leaving my new camera with over 400 pictures of our trip on the plane followed by British Airways telling me that the cleaning crew probably “nicked it”
Definitely priceless.
Shame. Anyone have any ideas where to look for such a thing?
I went to Italy, but at what cost?
Plane ticket: $408.00 round trip to London, with hotel.
Ryan air flights: total $120.00
Hotels cause my friend decided she can’t stay in a hostel. $100.00
Train Tickets 100 bucks.
My friend leaving my new camera with over 400 pictures of our trip on the plane followed by British Airways telling me that the cleaning crew probably “nicked it”
Definitely priceless.
Shame. Anyone have any ideas where to look for such a thing?
Monday, February 27, 2006
Happy Birthday To Me.
This past Friday was my birthday and I am now 25 years of age. Weird sentence. Sounds weird in my head. I know. Ew.
But instead of crying about it. I went to Italy. What better way to deal with that fact that your getting old (and still single) than to explore some of Europe. So that's just what I did.
Took one of my closest friends and we were off.
We did Rome.
We did Florence.
We climbed the leaning tower of Pisa.
and then to kick it all in to full gear.
I went to Venice to experience what I was told would be one of the best shabbusim I would ever have.
Well let me tell you.
The chabad of Venice is not overrated in any way shape or form.
They we're amazing and we're a lot of help.
Turns out, Luck of the draw I chose the week of Carnival (some clips here). Leaving me shit out of luck when it came to finding a place to stay. We'll Rabbi Banim wasn't going to let us sleep in the train stations for shabbos. So once again we thank you much for your hospitality.
still leaving us now with a place not just for shabbos but until we left and shabbos amazing shabbos meals. Burach Hashem for the handful of energetic Buchurim you boys rock. mamash labadic.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. All I know is, I'm a happy camper. 100% A.O.K. all is good thank you Eibishter for putting this birthday on the charts. Carnival... Who'd a thunk? Dancing in the streets to ung-dly hours.
sleeping in the train station... Still not sure why that happened. We had an apt. (...If someone finds Brett let me know:)I think we lost him somewhere )
I must get some sleep.
I haven't in days.
I'm exhausted but showered.
This is good. Trust me.
I have a flight from Hethrow to jfk in tomorrow evening. With an added mission to retake all our London pictures before we leave. Due to the fact that my friend and I are both complete goofs. We don't have any pictures from the first stop in London. So we're planning on going to all the sites in the same clothes and retake our pictures. I'll let you know how they come out.
as for now. Its late as sin and I must to be sleeping.
no, not with Roberto........... :)
But instead of crying about it. I went to Italy. What better way to deal with that fact that your getting old (and still single) than to explore some of Europe. So that's just what I did.
Took one of my closest friends and we were off.
We did Rome.
We did Florence.
We climbed the leaning tower of Pisa.
and then to kick it all in to full gear.
I went to Venice to experience what I was told would be one of the best shabbusim I would ever have.
Well let me tell you.
The chabad of Venice is not overrated in any way shape or form.
They we're amazing and we're a lot of help.
Turns out, Luck of the draw I chose the week of Carnival (some clips here). Leaving me shit out of luck when it came to finding a place to stay. We'll Rabbi Banim wasn't going to let us sleep in the train stations for shabbos. So once again we thank you much for your hospitality.
still leaving us now with a place not just for shabbos but until we left and shabbos amazing shabbos meals. Burach Hashem for the handful of energetic Buchurim you boys rock. mamash labadic.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. All I know is, I'm a happy camper. 100% A.O.K. all is good thank you Eibishter for putting this birthday on the charts. Carnival... Who'd a thunk? Dancing in the streets to ung-dly hours.
sleeping in the train station... Still not sure why that happened. We had an apt. (...If someone finds Brett let me know:)I think we lost him somewhere )
I must get some sleep.
I haven't in days.
I'm exhausted but showered.
This is good. Trust me.
I have a flight from Hethrow to jfk in tomorrow evening. With an added mission to retake all our London pictures before we leave. Due to the fact that my friend and I are both complete goofs. We don't have any pictures from the first stop in London. So we're planning on going to all the sites in the same clothes and retake our pictures. I'll let you know how they come out.
as for now. Its late as sin and I must to be sleeping.
no, not with Roberto........... :)
Monday, February 13, 2006
My Update*
This blog doesnt really seem to exist anymore.
I know some people have it on ther RSS feed. (I think thats what its called. and the rest of my readers have gone astray.
But its oka. I'm not far. more so i feed off the comments. Havnt been reciving any so i assume people arent comeing anymore.
But life is okay. Wed. my (not so) little brother is moving to town. I havent seen him in a while and I'm just getting ready to party for a few days before I run off to Italy. I promised myself this would be a good year.
I'm not trading that in for anything!
and for your viewing pleasure. I found this and loved it. I went throu all of them today. Read the captions. some are really trippy. :)
I know some people have it on ther RSS feed. (I think thats what its called. and the rest of my readers have gone astray.
But its oka. I'm not far. more so i feed off the comments. Havnt been reciving any so i assume people arent comeing anymore.
But life is okay. Wed. my (not so) little brother is moving to town. I havent seen him in a while and I'm just getting ready to party for a few days before I run off to Italy. I promised myself this would be a good year.
I'm not trading that in for anything!
and for your viewing pleasure. I found this and loved it. I went throu all of them today. Read the captions. some are really trippy. :)
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
What is Yud Shavat?
Today is Yud Shevat is the anniversary of the passing of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Y. Schneersohn, and the ascension to leadership of his son-in-law, the Rebbe king moshiach shlita.
On the day of his official acceptance of leadership of Chabad-Lubavitch, the Rebbe shlita recited a Chasidic discourse that stated uniquivocally that our generation is the last generation of exile and the first generation of the Redemption. This statement, and the campaign to bring about the Redemption, set the entire tone for the Rebbe's leadership.
A little more than four decades after the first discourse, the Rebbe shlita issued the following impassioned call to his followers and to the entire Jewish and world community:
"How is it that Moshiach has still not come? Why are we still in a state of galut (exile)? Why is our world still a place in which evil and suffering still prevail?
"Why is it acceptable that the Redemption should not come tonight, nor tomorrow, nor the day after, G-d forbid? The Jewish nation are 'a stiff-necked people.' Were there to be found even a few individuals who would adamantly insist on bringing Moshiach, he would have certainly long arrived!
"What more can I do? I have done all I can to bring the world to truly demand and clamor for the Redemption. But it seems that all my efforts have been in vain. We are still in exile and, more significantly, in an internal galut of clouded vision and distorted priorities.
"I have done all I can. I am handing over the task to you: Do everything in your power to bring our righteous redeemer, immediately!
"It is not sufficient to mouth slogans. You must take action. It is my fervent hope that amongst you there will be found one, two or three people who will figure out what to do and how to do it.
"I'm leaving it to you. It is up to each and every one of you to bring about the Redemption. It is in your hands to bring Moshiach."
At this auspicious time, let each one of us consider what we can do to bring about the Redemption and Moshiach, NOW!
On the day of his official acceptance of leadership of Chabad-Lubavitch, the Rebbe shlita recited a Chasidic discourse that stated uniquivocally that our generation is the last generation of exile and the first generation of the Redemption. This statement, and the campaign to bring about the Redemption, set the entire tone for the Rebbe's leadership.
A little more than four decades after the first discourse, the Rebbe shlita issued the following impassioned call to his followers and to the entire Jewish and world community:
"How is it that Moshiach has still not come? Why are we still in a state of galut (exile)? Why is our world still a place in which evil and suffering still prevail?
"Why is it acceptable that the Redemption should not come tonight, nor tomorrow, nor the day after, G-d forbid? The Jewish nation are 'a stiff-necked people.' Were there to be found even a few individuals who would adamantly insist on bringing Moshiach, he would have certainly long arrived!
"What more can I do? I have done all I can to bring the world to truly demand and clamor for the Redemption. But it seems that all my efforts have been in vain. We are still in exile and, more significantly, in an internal galut of clouded vision and distorted priorities.
"I have done all I can. I am handing over the task to you: Do everything in your power to bring our righteous redeemer, immediately!
"It is not sufficient to mouth slogans. You must take action. It is my fervent hope that amongst you there will be found one, two or three people who will figure out what to do and how to do it.
"I'm leaving it to you. It is up to each and every one of you to bring about the Redemption. It is in your hands to bring Moshiach."
At this auspicious time, let each one of us consider what we can do to bring about the Redemption and Moshiach, NOW!
In Honor of Yud Shvat
In honor of Yud Shvat I though I would post this.
Enjoy.
Adapted from Likkutei Sichos,
Vol. XVIII, Parshas Chukas-Balak
and Yud-Beis Tammuz;
and the Sichos of Shabbos Parshas Beshallach, 5751
A Time for Focus
Yud Shvat (the Tenth of Shvat) is the Previous Rebbe's yahrzeit, the anniversary of his passing. On the day of a tzaddik's passing, "all his effort... for which he toiled throughout his life... becomes revealed and radiates downward... at the time of his passing."[1] Accordingly, Yud Shvat is an appropriate day to focus on the message of the Previous Rebbe's life, for every year, these same spiritual qualities are revealed on this anniversary.[2]
This revelation affects all of "his children, the work of his hands," those who "will walk in his paths for eternity."[3] This is particularly true in regard to the yahrzeit of a nasi, a leader of the Jewish people. For a nasi is connected to every member of his generation;[4] as Rashi states,[5] "The nasi is the entire people."
The divine service of every man, but particularly that of a tzaddik and nasi, is multifaceted. Nevertheless, in considering the Previous Rebbe's divine service as a whole, there is one quality that stands out distinctly, and which enhances the nature of all his other contributions, namely, his unbounded mesirus nefesh ("self sacrifice").
The Previous Rebbe's mesirus nefesh was not limited to a particular situation or mode of expression. Despite the radically differing settings in which he lived and the varied nature of the obstacles with which he was confronted, he showed an unceasing commitment to the well-being of his fellow Jews, and to their connection with their Torah heritage.
Challenging the Iron Fist
His resolution and unbounded concern may be seen in his responses to three challenges that marked the three decades during which he served as leader of the Chabad chassidic movement. The Previous Rebbe assumed the mantle of leadership in 5680 (1920). At that time, the majority of the Chabad community - and the largest Jewish population worldwide - was located in the Soviet Union, exposed to the full brunt of the Communist effort to stamp out religious practice.
For the Previous Rebbe, every day presented a life-and-death struggle to maintain the observance of Torah throughout the country. He dispatched rabbis and shochtim to communities throughout the land, built mikvaos, and most important - and most fiercely opposed by the Communist regime - he established an extensive network of underground chadarim and yeshivos to educate Jewish youth. (This network continued to operate for decades, until the Glasnost allowed these schools to emerge into the light of day.)
The Previous Rebbe was arrested several times for "counter-revolutionary" activities. At one point, he was sentenced to death; only through international intervention and a series of miracles was the sentence averted.[6] The most difficult part of the Rebbe's situation, however, was the threat to his followers who joined him in risking their lives for these goals. Whenever one of his followers was exiled to Siberia for teaching young children, the Previous Rebbe had to shoulder the responsibility of sending a replacement with the full knowledge of the danger awaiting him.
In the Twilight Before the Night
The Rebbe Rayatz was forced to leave Russia in 5688 (1928). For the next few years, he established his base in Riga. Although he visited several Jewish communities throughout the world during this time, his energies were still primarily focused on Russia and the operation of the chassidic movement there.
In the summer of 5693 (1933), he settled in Poland. There, he was confronted by challenges of a different nature. Although there were no political obstacles to the spread of Jewish education or practice, the lack of resources presented difficulties which were compounded by the fact that the leaders of the local Jewish community did not understand his approach.
The Previous Rebbe did not allow these impediments to stand in the way of his efforts. With relentless energy, he established a chain of yeshivos and chadarim that enabled thousands of youth to devote themselves to the study of Torah. These activities continued until they were halted by the Nazi invasion. Together with thousands of other Jews, the Previous Rebbe spent the High Holidays of 5700 (1939) in bomb shelters in Warsaw. Shortly thereafter, on the last passenger ship to leave, he set out for the United States.
"America is No Different"
Immediately upon his arrival, he announced that he had come not for his personal benefit, but to prove that "America is no different."[7] The spiritual vitality that had nurtured Jewish life in Eastern Europe could be transplanted to the American continent. Though its manner of expression might change, the traditional devotion to the Torah's teachings and the observance of the mitzvos would not.
Physically broken by the ravages of ill-health and Soviet interrogators, the Previous Rebbe could have retired to a more private life, leading his own small group of followers. Instead, he revolutionized American Judaism. Every single area of American Jewish life - day schools, kashrus, Jewish publishing, yeshivah study, and the beginnings of the baal teshuvah movement - was radically influenced by his activities.
His ability to practice mesirus nefesh in these three very different situations indicates that this quality was of his essence. Himself the epitome of mesirus nefesh, he was able to inspire others likewise.
Continually Advancing - and with Joy
The very name Yosef Yitzchak speaks volumes about the Rebbe Rayatz.
In Hebrew, Yosef means "increase". The Previous Rebbe's mesirus nefesh constantly impelled him to further commitment and increased activity. Moreover, the name Yosef was first given in the verse,[8] "May G-d add on (yosef) to me another son (ben acher)." Implicit in this verse is the ability of Yosef to transform a person who has hitherto been acher ("another" - estranged from his Jewish roots) into the closeness of ben ("a son"). This ability was exemplified by the Previous Rebbe, who inspired countless Jews to return to Jewish practice.
The name Yitzchak was first given in the verse,[9] "Whoever hears will laugh (yitzchak) with me." Joy should be radiated to the point that "whoever hears," even someone who does not consciously intend to hear, "will laugh with me."
In keeping with this verse, the Previous Rebbe possessed a unique ability to impart happiness to others. Even when he was physically broken, the atmosphere around him was never one of despair. Quite the contrary, he radiated joy.
Both these names share a connection to the Redemption. The name Yosef is associated with the verse,[10] "G-d will again (yosif) extend His hand... to take possession of the remnant of His people." The joy inspired by the name Yitzchak anticipates the overwhelming joy our people will experience at the Redemption, as it is written,[11] "Then will our mouths be filled with laughter." May this take place in the immediate future.
Enjoy.
Adapted from Likkutei Sichos,
Vol. XVIII, Parshas Chukas-Balak
and Yud-Beis Tammuz;
and the Sichos of Shabbos Parshas Beshallach, 5751
A Time for Focus
Yud Shvat (the Tenth of Shvat) is the Previous Rebbe's yahrzeit, the anniversary of his passing. On the day of a tzaddik's passing, "all his effort... for which he toiled throughout his life... becomes revealed and radiates downward... at the time of his passing."[1] Accordingly, Yud Shvat is an appropriate day to focus on the message of the Previous Rebbe's life, for every year, these same spiritual qualities are revealed on this anniversary.[2]
This revelation affects all of "his children, the work of his hands," those who "will walk in his paths for eternity."[3] This is particularly true in regard to the yahrzeit of a nasi, a leader of the Jewish people. For a nasi is connected to every member of his generation;[4] as Rashi states,[5] "The nasi is the entire people."
The divine service of every man, but particularly that of a tzaddik and nasi, is multifaceted. Nevertheless, in considering the Previous Rebbe's divine service as a whole, there is one quality that stands out distinctly, and which enhances the nature of all his other contributions, namely, his unbounded mesirus nefesh ("self sacrifice").
The Previous Rebbe's mesirus nefesh was not limited to a particular situation or mode of expression. Despite the radically differing settings in which he lived and the varied nature of the obstacles with which he was confronted, he showed an unceasing commitment to the well-being of his fellow Jews, and to their connection with their Torah heritage.
Challenging the Iron Fist
His resolution and unbounded concern may be seen in his responses to three challenges that marked the three decades during which he served as leader of the Chabad chassidic movement. The Previous Rebbe assumed the mantle of leadership in 5680 (1920). At that time, the majority of the Chabad community - and the largest Jewish population worldwide - was located in the Soviet Union, exposed to the full brunt of the Communist effort to stamp out religious practice.
For the Previous Rebbe, every day presented a life-and-death struggle to maintain the observance of Torah throughout the country. He dispatched rabbis and shochtim to communities throughout the land, built mikvaos, and most important - and most fiercely opposed by the Communist regime - he established an extensive network of underground chadarim and yeshivos to educate Jewish youth. (This network continued to operate for decades, until the Glasnost allowed these schools to emerge into the light of day.)
The Previous Rebbe was arrested several times for "counter-revolutionary" activities. At one point, he was sentenced to death; only through international intervention and a series of miracles was the sentence averted.[6] The most difficult part of the Rebbe's situation, however, was the threat to his followers who joined him in risking their lives for these goals. Whenever one of his followers was exiled to Siberia for teaching young children, the Previous Rebbe had to shoulder the responsibility of sending a replacement with the full knowledge of the danger awaiting him.
In the Twilight Before the Night
The Rebbe Rayatz was forced to leave Russia in 5688 (1928). For the next few years, he established his base in Riga. Although he visited several Jewish communities throughout the world during this time, his energies were still primarily focused on Russia and the operation of the chassidic movement there.
In the summer of 5693 (1933), he settled in Poland. There, he was confronted by challenges of a different nature. Although there were no political obstacles to the spread of Jewish education or practice, the lack of resources presented difficulties which were compounded by the fact that the leaders of the local Jewish community did not understand his approach.
The Previous Rebbe did not allow these impediments to stand in the way of his efforts. With relentless energy, he established a chain of yeshivos and chadarim that enabled thousands of youth to devote themselves to the study of Torah. These activities continued until they were halted by the Nazi invasion. Together with thousands of other Jews, the Previous Rebbe spent the High Holidays of 5700 (1939) in bomb shelters in Warsaw. Shortly thereafter, on the last passenger ship to leave, he set out for the United States.
"America is No Different"
Immediately upon his arrival, he announced that he had come not for his personal benefit, but to prove that "America is no different."[7] The spiritual vitality that had nurtured Jewish life in Eastern Europe could be transplanted to the American continent. Though its manner of expression might change, the traditional devotion to the Torah's teachings and the observance of the mitzvos would not.
Physically broken by the ravages of ill-health and Soviet interrogators, the Previous Rebbe could have retired to a more private life, leading his own small group of followers. Instead, he revolutionized American Judaism. Every single area of American Jewish life - day schools, kashrus, Jewish publishing, yeshivah study, and the beginnings of the baal teshuvah movement - was radically influenced by his activities.
His ability to practice mesirus nefesh in these three very different situations indicates that this quality was of his essence. Himself the epitome of mesirus nefesh, he was able to inspire others likewise.
Continually Advancing - and with Joy
The very name Yosef Yitzchak speaks volumes about the Rebbe Rayatz.
In Hebrew, Yosef means "increase". The Previous Rebbe's mesirus nefesh constantly impelled him to further commitment and increased activity. Moreover, the name Yosef was first given in the verse,[8] "May G-d add on (yosef) to me another son (ben acher)." Implicit in this verse is the ability of Yosef to transform a person who has hitherto been acher ("another" - estranged from his Jewish roots) into the closeness of ben ("a son"). This ability was exemplified by the Previous Rebbe, who inspired countless Jews to return to Jewish practice.
The name Yitzchak was first given in the verse,[9] "Whoever hears will laugh (yitzchak) with me." Joy should be radiated to the point that "whoever hears," even someone who does not consciously intend to hear, "will laugh with me."
In keeping with this verse, the Previous Rebbe possessed a unique ability to impart happiness to others. Even when he was physically broken, the atmosphere around him was never one of despair. Quite the contrary, he radiated joy.
Both these names share a connection to the Redemption. The name Yosef is associated with the verse,[10] "G-d will again (yosif) extend His hand... to take possession of the remnant of His people." The joy inspired by the name Yitzchak anticipates the overwhelming joy our people will experience at the Redemption, as it is written,[11] "Then will our mouths be filled with laughter." May this take place in the immediate future.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Um... Where'd I Go??
Good morning to all who are dropping by to see what I have to say.
I must warn you. It's not much. I just realized I seem to have been neglecting my blog. Its not intentional. I was just a little addicted to myspace. It takes up a lot of my time. But I've decided to lay off the hard stuff. Pull back, if I may. Go through a little bet of withdrawal. :)
Anyway: Here's an update on the friends getting married around me. Yea, its hard. But mostly. I've come to realize. I'm just worried. I hope it's all with good intentions and I pray it all works out for the good.
and now for a little Torah to spice up your morning with a word from our sages:
Have an amazing Shabbos!!
I must warn you. It's not much. I just realized I seem to have been neglecting my blog. Its not intentional. I was just a little addicted to myspace. It takes up a lot of my time. But I've decided to lay off the hard stuff. Pull back, if I may. Go through a little bet of withdrawal. :)
Anyway: Here's an update on the friends getting married around me. Yea, its hard. But mostly. I've come to realize. I'm just worried. I hope it's all with good intentions and I pray it all works out for the good.
and now for a little Torah to spice up your morning with a word from our sages:
B"H
One World
---------
People might tell you, "When you come to work, leave your spirituality at home. Don't bother us with your peculiar lifestyle, your ethics, search for meaning... That's all nice, but this is business. This is the real world."
There is only one real world, and it belongs to one real G-d.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Shevat 4, 5766 * February 2, 2006
Have an amazing Shabbos!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
A friend’s engagement: Jealousy or happiness?
I wrote this last wee but got sick and havnt been to work.
Maybe I should go over it before I post it. Maybe I shouldnt. It's more raw this way.
A marriage of connivance;
Shit or get off the pot. Right…?
What's this bullsh*t about all the people I know getting engaged, just because..? Doesn't anyone believe in eternal bliss or love? What happened to my generation?
My friend we'll just call him "Joe Shmoe" was trying to understand why I never "messed around" with him. Now that he's engaged this comes up, go figure…
So I asked him, --(In response to the sudden inquiry) why are you marring this girl, if you're still trying to get in my pants? His answer: "Why not? She's been dating me for 2yrs. I owe it to her. Plus she'll be a good mom." Mean while she has no idea she's marring a drug addict who in his words has "temptation issues" when it comes to girls.
--the only issue he has is that some say no.
And then there's "Jack Shmoe" the recovering heroin /crack addict who is marring the cookie cutter Bais Yaakov girl whom thinks her fiancé is in rehab for pot. Yes, I said it pot.
--Ps. He still smokes pot. But is now, sober from the hard stuff* for all of 7 months. (Which she has no knowledge about) again… "She's willing to marry me. Why wouldn't I marry her?"
Then: Last night:
I went to a La'chaim for a friend of mine. Let's call her "L".
A few months ago, we stopped hanging out cause I couldn't keep up with her. Her life was spiraling down hill. Then about 2 months ago she was tripping out cause she was turning 25. Her "significant other" broke up with her telling her she was pathetic. What did she do? She had a conversation with g-d; asking for help, to make this g-d awful person want her back.
She cleaned up. Was sent on a shidduch and got engaged. All in less than 2 months.
I was expecting a whole trip. Well she came in an hour late. (To be expected) but what I didn't expect was her to come in with her ex. WHO DOES THAT?! On top of it, she wasn't all about the engagement. In fact all she said to me all night was. Why aren't you talking to "E". Not wow. Can you believe it or I'm so happy? or Imertz Ha'shem by you. Nothing but can you please go talk to him. Make piece. All I wanted to do was yell at her. He treated you like sh*t for 2 years!!!!! But I can't. It was her night. So I let it be.
Then just before I finally had enough and left. She looks at me. Gives me a hug and says "Honey: you just have to give up on your self. Let it all go. Otherwise. You'll never be happy. The only reason I'm happy. Is cause I gave up on myself."
I left. I went home. And I cried. For both of us.
Now let me get one thing straight. I'm not taking away from anyone's happiness here. (and honestly all my friends aren’t drug addicts. I promise!!) I am however jealous in a sick and twisted "…why them?" level. Then I come back down planet earth and realize. None of them are happy. Not in love. They are all just settling. In a very unhealthy way might I add, but its so hard to watch.
Maybe I should go over it before I post it. Maybe I shouldnt. It's more raw this way.
A marriage of connivance;
Shit or get off the pot. Right…?
What's this bullsh*t about all the people I know getting engaged, just because..? Doesn't anyone believe in eternal bliss or love? What happened to my generation?
My friend we'll just call him "Joe Shmoe" was trying to understand why I never "messed around" with him. Now that he's engaged this comes up, go figure…
So I asked him, --(In response to the sudden inquiry) why are you marring this girl, if you're still trying to get in my pants? His answer: "Why not? She's been dating me for 2yrs. I owe it to her. Plus she'll be a good mom." Mean while she has no idea she's marring a drug addict who in his words has "temptation issues" when it comes to girls.
--the only issue he has is that some say no.
And then there's "Jack Shmoe" the recovering heroin /crack addict who is marring the cookie cutter Bais Yaakov girl whom thinks her fiancé is in rehab for pot. Yes, I said it pot.
--Ps. He still smokes pot. But is now, sober from the hard stuff* for all of 7 months. (Which she has no knowledge about) again… "She's willing to marry me. Why wouldn't I marry her?"
Then: Last night:
I went to a La'chaim for a friend of mine. Let's call her "L".
A few months ago, we stopped hanging out cause I couldn't keep up with her. Her life was spiraling down hill. Then about 2 months ago she was tripping out cause she was turning 25. Her "significant other" broke up with her telling her she was pathetic. What did she do? She had a conversation with g-d; asking for help, to make this g-d awful person want her back.
She cleaned up. Was sent on a shidduch and got engaged. All in less than 2 months.
I was expecting a whole trip. Well she came in an hour late. (To be expected) but what I didn't expect was her to come in with her ex. WHO DOES THAT?! On top of it, she wasn't all about the engagement. In fact all she said to me all night was. Why aren't you talking to "E". Not wow. Can you believe it or I'm so happy? or Imertz Ha'shem by you. Nothing but can you please go talk to him. Make piece. All I wanted to do was yell at her. He treated you like sh*t for 2 years!!!!! But I can't. It was her night. So I let it be.
Then just before I finally had enough and left. She looks at me. Gives me a hug and says "Honey: you just have to give up on your self. Let it all go. Otherwise. You'll never be happy. The only reason I'm happy. Is cause I gave up on myself."
I left. I went home. And I cried. For both of us.
Now let me get one thing straight. I'm not taking away from anyone's happiness here. (and honestly all my friends aren’t drug addicts. I promise!!) I am however jealous in a sick and twisted "…why them?" level. Then I come back down planet earth and realize. None of them are happy. Not in love. They are all just settling. In a very unhealthy way might I add, but its so hard to watch.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Another deadly ending.
It seems these guys cant do anything right. After the incedint in Turkey. you think they would be carfull.. but no....
Stampede During Hajj Ritual Kills 345
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/01/12/D8F3A9982.html
Stampede During Hajj Ritual Kills 345
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/01/12/D8F3A9982.html
Slashers Father Blames Video Games.
Go figure.
Okay, sick. Right?
Yeah, we live in America and we're always looking to point a finger. We're the nation with the strangest warning labels to avoid dumb lawsuits.
Well it looks like even the psycho slashers are also looking for someone else to blame. The father of the MOSCOW CHABAD HOUSE SHASHER said.
""And I quote.""
According to officials the main reason of the rampage was believed to be national and religious enmity.
Later some other motives of the crime came on the surface. As father of Alexander Koptzev said his son used to play Postal (a computer game in which a postman goes mad, picks a knife and leaves to kill everybody he meets on the London streets). He played the game for quit a long time - several hours – when his friends called him out. Then Alexander went for a walk.
Yep. Daddy blames video games.
Sick sick world.
And n related news:
Russian Billionaire Offers Help
Sacrifice the Neo-Nazi shasher!!
Okay, sick. Right?
Yeah, we live in America and we're always looking to point a finger. We're the nation with the strangest warning labels to avoid dumb lawsuits.
Well it looks like even the psycho slashers are also looking for someone else to blame. The father of the MOSCOW CHABAD HOUSE SHASHER said.
""And I quote.""
According to officials the main reason of the rampage was believed to be national and religious enmity.
Later some other motives of the crime came on the surface. As father of Alexander Koptzev said his son used to play Postal (a computer game in which a postman goes mad, picks a knife and leaves to kill everybody he meets on the London streets). He played the game for quit a long time - several hours – when his friends called him out. Then Alexander went for a walk.
Yep. Daddy blames video games.
Sick sick world.
And n related news:
Russian Billionaire Offers Help
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
When Sacrificial Animals Strike BAck
Okay this is the best story ever. I didnt even know they they had a holiday to celibrate the acada. But who would all the animals started tripping?? Go figure.
Sacrificial beasts strike back in Turkey
Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:33 PM GMT
Souce Reuters
Anyone hungry?
Sacrificial beasts strike back in Turkey
Tue Jan 10, 2006 5:33 PM GMT
Souce Reuters
ISTANBUL (Reuters) - The Muslim faithful are supposed to sacrifice sheep or other livestock for the Eid al-Adha festival, but in Turkey more than 1,600 people cut themselves and two died of heart attacks on Tuesday.
Turkey's streets annually run with blood as sheep and cattle have their throats cut on pavements and waste ground to commemorate Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son for God. The scenes are decried by the secular media which every year calls for an end to the public slaughter.
Three people suffered heart attacks and two of them died while carrying out sacrifices, state-run Anatolian news agency said, and 1,664 were hospitalised nationwide, mostly from cuts suffered while trying to hold down struggling beasts.
Television showed a number of bulls escaping the knife and running down the streets. One butted open the door of a corner shop and took refuge inside. Angry bulls in at least two places attacked their would-be killers and put them in hospital.
But one man in the western province of Bolu solved the problem of how to catch an escaped bull by shooting it in the legs with a shot-gun and then cutting its throat.
A portion of the meat from the dead animals is distributed to the poor.
Anyone hungry?
What Do You Do When Your Bored Of Yourself?...
Sometimes I look at my blog and think. Why haven't I posted anything interesting recently? I'm so bored of my blog I think I'm going to register it to my phone so I can use it as a sleep aid.
Eh..
Yea yea. I'm kinda tired, bored and depressed. A little. I'll over come. I'm strong. :)
Counting down to 25. Ew I'm single and going to be 25 soon. But yeay, I'm gonna have my birthday in Italy. hum..
Eh..
Yea yea. I'm kinda tired, bored and depressed. A little. I'll over come. I'm strong. :)
Counting down to 25. Ew I'm single and going to be 25 soon. But yeay, I'm gonna have my birthday in Italy. hum..
Who do you think you are?
B"H
In words said by our great sages, what gives you the right to judge? This is a fun one. Makes me feel like... yea,.. what I'm a rebel. But what makes you any better than me. I'm tryin every day.
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Tevet 10, 5766 * January 10, 2006
In words said by our great sages, what gives you the right to judge? This is a fun one. Makes me feel like... yea,.. what I'm a rebel. But what makes you any better than me. I'm tryin every day.
Never Distant
-------------
(The Rebbe said this to person involved in Jewish outreach:)
"You say you are 'bringing close those who are distant.' What gives you the right to call them distant and pretend you are close? You must approach each one as though you were an emissary sent by the King of kings of kings to talk with the prince, his only son!"
A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe
-words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman
Tevet 10, 5766 * January 10, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
This is Me. I've been Tagged. :) MEM4
Four jobs I've had in my life: Stock&Sales @ Neptune fireworks, Starbucks- Barista, Glatt kosher Hot dog vendor @ Shea & Yaakey Stadium, office manager.
Four movies I could watch over and over: pulp fiction, reservoir dogs, mall rats, clerks. (basically anything by Quentin Tarantino or Kevin smith)
Four places I've lived: Born in Cali- Grew up in Miami,Fl- Fairfax,VA- All over Israel- and now I’m in NY. Ohh, wait that was 5. oh well.. J
Four TV Shows I love to watch: Friends, Coupling, Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill.
Four places I've been on vacation: Cali, WV, (upstate) NY, Israel, I’m going to Venice Italy A”H yea!!
Four websites I visit daily: Drudge Report.com, MySpace.com, Jahfiltefish.com, worldAtlas.com
Four of my favorite foods: Cheese off the pizza, Most meat, Fish, The outer layer of Jelly Beans!!!!!!
Four places you'd rather be: Sleeping.
Four books I'll read over and over again: Harry potter
Now, I tag: Your mom. Okay not tagging anyone. Cause I’v done it before and pissed people off. So anyone want to take it on. Go for it.
But I cant tag anyone. J
Four movies I could watch over and over: pulp fiction, reservoir dogs, mall rats, clerks. (basically anything by Quentin Tarantino or Kevin smith)
Four places I've lived: Born in Cali- Grew up in Miami,Fl- Fairfax,VA- All over Israel- and now I’m in NY. Ohh, wait that was 5. oh well.. J
Four TV Shows I love to watch: Friends, Coupling, Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill.
Four places I've been on vacation: Cali, WV, (upstate) NY, Israel, I’m going to Venice Italy A”H yea!!
Four websites I visit daily: Drudge Report.com, MySpace.com, Jahfiltefish.com, worldAtlas.com
Four of my favorite foods: Cheese off the pizza, Most meat, Fish, The outer layer of Jelly Beans!!!!!!
Four places you'd rather be: Sleeping.
Four books I'll read over and over again: Harry potter
Now, I tag: Your mom. Okay not tagging anyone. Cause I’v done it before and pissed people off. So anyone want to take it on. Go for it.
But I cant tag anyone. J
RE-Release of Kill Bill
Best news ever!!
Quentin Tarantino finally reveals some info on the planned re-release of Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2, which he plans to get out to selected theaters next year. He sais "I want to cut the whole movie together like one big epic with an intermission in the middle like a 60s film. It'll be coming out in theatres. I've been holding off because I've been working on it for so long that I just wanted a year off from Kill Bill and then I'll do the big supplementary DVD package."
Das what I like to hear. yea.
YES!!
Quentin Tarantino finally reveals some info on the planned re-release of Kill Bill Volume 1 and 2, which he plans to get out to selected theaters next year. He sais "I want to cut the whole movie together like one big epic with an intermission in the middle like a 60s film. It'll be coming out in theatres. I've been holding off because I've been working on it for so long that I just wanted a year off from Kill Bill and then I'll do the big supplementary DVD package."
Das what I like to hear. yea.
YES!!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Tina Fay+ Ali G. = Disaster
Ali G as Vic Thrill.
Who remembers Vic Thrill + Time Square and the Millennium.
My friend and I were talking about how this is the fist official concert in Time Square for new years eve. And he was saying a friend of his who was a chossid Turned rock star turned chossid again. (Vic Thrill of Curly Oxide/ now going by the name Chaim) was supposed to play a gig for the millennium in Time Square. But then, decided not to due to the fact that it was shabbos.
He was suddenly questioning life all over again. Shortly after the choice not to play his mother set conned him in to a shidduch. And well he’s currently living happily ever after as a Chossid.
Now is where it gets interesting. Some Movie producer heard/ knows the story of this Chossid who became a rock star only to drop it all for the Quiet life of being a chossid. Apparently this isn’t the version of a story that typical or heard all the time. So here came this producer offering him just under a million for the rights of his life story. and what do you know.. this adel chossid declined saying he doesn’t want to bring back the past and he wants to move forward in life. Yes, he declined. He didn’t want the whole thing to come alive all over again. So instead, (now tell me if you know exactly how this gets less press…) (Sacha Baron Cohen)aka Ali G. is set to play him in some kind of movie version of the story that Tina Fey is writing.
Go figure. Now, this poor little man is tripping out because his life is in an uproar about the fact that his whole story is coming out. And he wants nothing more than to move on. He’s a chossid. What can ya say? .
Now, without the official rights… (not sure how that works)
Also, did anyone know Tina Fey was the head Writer at SNL??
music videos here
Click on the "all episodes in order of broadcast" link, pick 2004 and then pick the program from 6/25 entitled "My Experimental Phase". It's a really great story about how Vic Thrill discovered Curly Oxide, a Hasidic Jew who wanted to be a rock star. The first 5-10 minutes of the show is actually about a woman who thought she was gay, but the Curly story starts right after that.
So much buzz I cant follow any of it. all I know throu mutual freinds... Hes not a happy camper.
My life is none of your business.
Who remembers Vic Thrill + Time Square and the Millennium.
My friend and I were talking about how this is the fist official concert in Time Square for new years eve. And he was saying a friend of his who was a chossid Turned rock star turned chossid again. (Vic Thrill of Curly Oxide/ now going by the name Chaim) was supposed to play a gig for the millennium in Time Square. But then, decided not to due to the fact that it was shabbos.
He was suddenly questioning life all over again. Shortly after the choice not to play his mother set conned him in to a shidduch. And well he’s currently living happily ever after as a Chossid.
Now is where it gets interesting. Some Movie producer heard/ knows the story of this Chossid who became a rock star only to drop it all for the Quiet life of being a chossid. Apparently this isn’t the version of a story that typical or heard all the time. So here came this producer offering him just under a million for the rights of his life story. and what do you know.. this adel chossid declined saying he doesn’t want to bring back the past and he wants to move forward in life. Yes, he declined. He didn’t want the whole thing to come alive all over again. So instead, (now tell me if you know exactly how this gets less press…) (Sacha Baron Cohen)aka Ali G. is set to play him in some kind of movie version of the story that Tina Fey is writing.
Go figure. Now, this poor little man is tripping out because his life is in an uproar about the fact that his whole story is coming out. And he wants nothing more than to move on. He’s a chossid. What can ya say? .
Now, without the official rights… (not sure how that works)
Tina Fey has made a deal with Paramount to writer Curly Oxide and Vic Thrill, from producers Lorne Michaels and John Goldwyn. Fey will write the comedy about the true story of a Hasidic Jew and a grizzled rock musician who form a band, reports Variety.
Curly Oxide is the stage name of the young Hasidic Jew who wandered into a Brooklyn bar where Vic Thrill drunkenly played his raucous music. Thrill struck up a conversation and a mutual interest in music led Thrill to invite his new friend to visit his nearby recording studio. The duo began writing and performing music together, mingling their cultures in the playful lyrics.
It is unclear whether Fey will write a role for herself. She will continue to serve as head writer for Saturday Night Live as well as the show's Weekend Update co-anchor when the sketch comedy show returns this fall.
Also, did anyone know Tina Fey was the head Writer at SNL??
music videos here
Click on the "all episodes in order of broadcast" link, pick 2004 and then pick the program from 6/25 entitled "My Experimental Phase". It's a really great story about how Vic Thrill discovered Curly Oxide, a Hasidic Jew who wanted to be a rock star. The first 5-10 minutes of the show is actually about a woman who thought she was gay, but the Curly story starts right after that.
So much buzz I cant follow any of it. all I know throu mutual freinds... Hes not a happy camper.
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