I think I need to start doing real drugs.
Now when I say real I mean like the hard drugs, the ones people are always like, “yea I did drugs, but I never did that… ” Serious addiction, you know. “The good stuff.”
Lately it seems as if all the people I know whom I used to do “soft” drugs with are currently happy and in relationships. And all la de da.. oh, so excited and talking about planning a wedding even though they haven’t even gotten to the engaged part yet. When they do; I’m like oh wow cool. Mazel Tov! They look at me as if they want to kill me cause i'm not excited. (anymore)I’m sorry. But to cut into a different issue here for a second. YOU SPENT THE LAST 4 MONTHS TELLING ME YOUR GETTING ENGAGED!!You’ve set a date called the caterer. Tried on dresses, I know! I was happy for you for the last 4 freakin months I'M SORRY I’M NOT JUMPING FOR JOY AT THIS VERY SECCOND! I'm happy for you. honest. Just tell me when the wedding is…. I’ll be there with my smile I promise.
Now, I’m not knocking them in the least bit. I love all my friends and I am so extraordinarily happy for them. (With a sense of uncontrollable jealousy) But the truth of the matter is I stopped ages ago. (The drugs) And they went on to bigger and better things… i.e. Crazy intense drugs. They all seemed to have hit rock bottom at some point and now go sober.
Now opening them up to find clarity, happiness, and let’s not forget love. Simple, no?
Think about it.
It will be worth it. I spend what at the very least $50.00 bucks a week on shabbos. (being cheap) Well I could redirect that money for say, crack. I’m told it’s cheap. I'll eat less because I’m doing crack, never be hungry, and lose weight. Look amazing (not that I think in the least bit that I’m unattractive.) find g-d all over again. Quit smoking cigarettes stop drinking.. Wont ever have to hear “this event isn’t really for single girls” cause I wont go out much due to the fact that I’ll be too busy smoking crack, in some loft. Somewhere in this g-d forsaken city and then when I’m all frail and emaciated… I’ll wake up boom. Just like that. Realize that even the scum lesbian I’m sleeping with doesn’t want to be with me. I’ll find myself. Then a man who will aid me in sobering up.
It's a flawless plan. It seems everyone I know is in midst of doing this right now.
Maybe its just cause I’m not enough of an extremist. You know, I just didn’t follow through with my drug use.
Any idea where I can score some crack in the Brooklyn area?
or maybe I'll just go back to the coke....
3 comments:
Try your local police precint, they might have some drugs they confiscated from someone. Isn't it a bit weird to get stoned so that you can sober up when you're already sober? Sort of an endless cycle, when you're sober again you might decide....
eh, Sobers broing, Remember...
AA is for quitters.
Witch percint is this? :)
hey cool blog!
i hear the thing about the druggy friends getting married. my experience is the opposite--those who did the soft drugs are on their way, while the hard drug people aren't really making their way out. maybe i'm still younger than you, and i just have to wait and see.
i think it has to do with the whole "seeking" thing. drugs are drugs. but so are relationships. and love. and you can be addicted to all these things. especially if you have an addictive personality. dry drunk and all of that. so who knows? maybe you're druggie friends are just addicted to finding love now...
namaste.
-zj
zenjewbu.blogspot.com
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